Why Crushing Pressure is Good For You.
The Paradox of Being 100% Responsible
I’m a black man who lives in The Bay Area. I’ve done some things in this life that are less than honorable. Criminal in fact. And most of my days, I had reasons for why I didn’t reach whatever potential was expected of me. Now I take full responsibility, and for a big reason.
There might be a flaw to the way we look at responsibility. Traditionally, it means that things that need to be said or done fall on you. Or whatever has happened, it may be your fault, and you must attend to it. If there’s an outcome that was out of your control, you shouldn’t worry about it. At the very least, you can rightfully blame someone else.
Do you think there’s a problem with this way of thinking? Could this thought process put you in less control of your life? Is it possible that this thought process will lead to achieve less and be less happy?
When we don’t take full responsibility for what happens to us, it stands to follow that it was someone else’s fault right? I couldn’t control what happened so why should I be blamed?
There’s another angle that we may not have thought of. When I blame somebody else for what has occurred, I am also giving the power to THEM to fix it.
For example, some people at work don’t clean up the warehouse by putting the tools away. It’s hard to get help doing this. You’ve complained to the boss, but nothing seems to be working.
It’s not your fault. After all, you put your stuff away, why can’t they? Now, the power lies with your boss or coworkers to make your day manageable and less stressful.
The Paradox is this: When you take full responsibility for what happens in your life (good or bad) you also have 100% of the power to deal with it. Your reaction is always 100% yours.
If I feel this particular group is oppressing me, and they’re the reason I cannot fill in the blank, then it’s up to THEM to fix it. I can’t go with that, and I hope you won’t either.
Full responsibility is heavy. Even crushing at times. Some mistakes and events make it tough to push forward. I’m sure you can think of something right now that was incredibly hard in your life.
But the beauty is that the solution is with you all the time. It’s you! Your attitude to things that you couldn’t control is fully in your control. We do not have to be the victims of circumstance any longer.
From the moment you choose to be fully responsible for everything that happens in your life, you will change it.
If this has been a struggle for you, it ok. It’s more than Ok because you will change today! If something is not going right in your life, YOU have the power to do something about it.
I got out of jail and realized most of the stuff that went on was because of me. That seems to be what it all boiled down to. Were there reasons for what I did? Of course (right or wrong).
But I didn’t want to be a victim. I refuse to be in a mindset where it’s them that need to change for MY life to be better. That mindset kills you slowly and saps your joy. So, if you’re at work and find that you can’t stand it, decide to better your life. It may be hard, but you’re in control, and that is freeing.
The Following link is about William James, considered the father of modern psychology. It outlines his wild story, and what role responsibility played.
